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buddha flip

the fog clears, slightly

Most of the afternoon was devoted to going 'round in circles trying to figure out how to post from my home page. (I seemed to be able to put something up when I was "outside," but once I was logged in there would be no "Post To Journal" button. Frustrating, but not without its rewards). 

As I was trying to figure this out, I stumbled around, trying to understand the social as well as technical method. Very pleased to get a quick and cordial reply from britgeekgrrl, (thank you!) which increased my awareness that the deathless prose recorded here reaches a possible audience. Also, I'm looking forwarding to understanding the mythology about which rm is so obviously knowledgeable and passionate--writing a book or is it a screenplay or both?  As people from Jamaica seem to say in this context, "Much respect" to you Mlle. as I think there is something brave and wonderful about someone willing to there inner world out there.

I also find additional points of resonance w/ britgeekgrrl as she refers to trying to reconcile creative interests and projects with the exigencies of making a living.

I find myself in a sort of parallel struggle: the job that I have held for several years has great interest for me--I'm a psychiatric social worker/psychotherapist working with people who have all sorts of issues around suicidality and self-destructiveness (not a reflection of my own stuff, in case you were wondering...) -- but it's clearing becoming inadequate to pay the bills for a middle class lifestyle, which at age 50 and with a family, I'm not willing to give up.  Meanwhile, when I try to come up with what else I might do--well, I come up with lots of ideas that would be creatively fulfilling, but they would be good for f*ckall in terms of making money and taking care of the fam.  The classic "solution" would be to have your work that you do to put food on the table, and then your passion/your art.

It seems that there might have been a time in the not so distant past when you could get by with a marginal income while pursuing the muse. I don't think I have to tell you that the possibility of that balancing act seems to be going away...or gone.

I don't mean to whine or complain. There is much, MUCH for which I am grateful, but it does seem that the culture has turned somewhat against the dreamers. Maybe it's unreasonable to expect it to be any other way. Or there might even be the argument that is kind of suggested by Harry Lime's speech (that I think Orson Welles may have actually written), 

"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long, Holly." 

Certainly sounds like we're not far from the former now, but in fairness, when I just looked up the quote there's the suggestion that Welles actually copied it from Mussolini. Oh dear.


Writing a screenplay with my creative partner, writing a book on my own, although she's of great help in that. Who are you btw, I assume you're a friend of a friend or some such. Let me know and I will add you back.